As some of you may know, Jocelyn wasn't in a very good state last Friday. Was actually down the whole of last week...work didn't seem to be as smooth sailing as I naively thought. Made a lot of mistakes and blunders due to my carelessness and lack of spirit of excellence. I was more disappointed in myself than being affected when my colleague ticked me off. I wonder, what happened? Why had I become so incapable? People thought I can do it...I thought I can do it...in the end, it was all in thoughts only... My confidence and ego were hit. Not only did my colleagues lose trust in me, I lost trust in myself, thinking whether I can really "do it", whether I can excel in my "career", if there was a career to talk about in the first place. Since then, I went to work heavy-hearted, head down, praying each day that there would be no mistakes made. Work kind of took on a whole new meaning for me.

But God did encourage me, told me off gently actually. That I should bring Him more often to my work place, spend more time with Him and walk closer with Him, "...seeking first the kingdom of God and then all other things will fall into place..."

I've to work doubly hard now, not only to perform my tasks excellently, but also to earn back my trust, to win my colleagues and boss over again. But this time, I hope to do it with God. Pray for me, won't you?


-Jocelyn-